Imagine If Evolution-Deniers Tried to Debunk Language Evolution

Today’s blog is rough and rambling. In other words, it is much like all my others. I consider such imperfections a privilege of advanced age. Sometimes I write in rough ASCII and then don’t feel like beautifying it with nice attributes for publication. I can live with that. 

Would the same lame arguments applied to deny biological evolution be trolled about while denying LANGUAGE EVOLUTION?

How about we have some fun? Take any popular anti-evolution slogan, illustration, or mantra from traditional creationist denialism and apply it to language evolution.

e.g. “Hitler and the Nazis believed in language evolution.”

“They believed that the Dutch language evolved from German long ago. One must judge the language evolution worldview by its fruits: The Nazis invaded the Netherlands and soon began deporting Jewish people to death camps.”

“Hitler was actually Austrian. But because Austrian German evolved from something Nazi linguistics professors called High German, Hitler called himself a German.”

“Grimm’s Law is grim indeed. Nazi professors at German universities believed in Grimm’s Law and genocide followed.”


We all know that languages change over time. In fact, one can easily find “language genealogies” and “family trees” of language families showing, for example, how Indo-European languages developed. PIE (Proto-IndoEuropean) vocabulary can be reconstructed to some degree from the study of the Latin and Greek and Germanic languages descended from it [to name a few] and Latin evolved into the Romance languages, including Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, and French. An understanding of language evolution can provide many analogies for better understanding biological evolution. But would “creation science” deniers of the theory of evolution make the same kinds of errors if they chose to deny language evolution? Consider this obvious analog to some of their favorite biological evolution DENIALS:

“If The Theory of Language Evolution” were true, imagine that two Latin speaking parents happened to give birth to a Spanish-speaking child. What are the odds that elsewhere in their village or region, two other Latin-speaking parents just happened to ALSO give birth to a Spanish-speaking child—–and not a Portuguese-speaking or French-speaking child—-so that the Spanish-speaking children could grow up, look for a mate, and decide to marry and reproduce, and thereby produce more Spanish speakers?!”

Also: “If the English language evolved from German, why are there still German speakers today?” “And if the Danish language came from German, why are there still German speakers.”

Would they also argue: “My professor claims that the ancient epics of Homer were originally oral traditions circulated thousands and thousands of years ago and eventually preserved in Greek texts which are displayed in countless museums today. So the discovery of Greek being spoken today in one relatively small areas of Europe today TOTAL EMBARRASSED the world-wide conspiracy of linguists who insist upon The Theory of Language Evolution!

We would even hear: “I have a friend whose neighbor’s cousin is a professor and says that the British Museum has literally thousands upon thousands of ancient texts which are hidden from view in basement storage and they only let carefully screened scholars who are already part of the linguistic elite of university academy admission to look at SOME of them! Sometimes they will also allow doctoral students and an occasional masters-level student have access—but ONLY if a full-fledged member of the linguistics priesthood writes a letter of ‘recommendation’ (i.e., admission.) In reality, the lowly student needs the letter so that gate-keepers of the Shrine to Linguistic Evolution will know that a fellow member of the Language Evolution Conspiracy has properly indoctrinated that student and can vouch to the student’s loyalty to the RELIGION of language evolution! ”

“It’s called ‘language theory’ for a reason. It is only a theory.”

“Grimm’s Law isn’t really a law. It is just a guess. It is merely an opinion from the High Priests of Linguistic Evolution.”

“Pig Latin can’t be a real language because pigs can’t talk!”

This article would have been a fitting blog for April Fool’s Day. But on the other hand, every day in the Young Earth Creationist evolution-denying world is much like April 1.



Filed under Uncategorized

3 responses to “Imagine If Evolution-Deniers Tried to Debunk Language Evolution

  1. TomS

    The Indo-European languages were called in 19th century German the Aryan languages, and was worked up into a theory of the warrior race which conquered almost all of Europe as well as elsewhere.

  2. TomS

    Robert T. Pennock has a book which examines the analogy of language change and biological evolution: Tower of Babel : the evidence against the new creationism. MIT Press, 1999

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s