September 7 is the Labor Day holiday in the USA and in the light of that very special occasion, we ever so lightly honor a not-so-often-sung hero of the “creation science” movement, Mr. Bodie Hodge.
Whenever I see the unique name of this “creation scientist”, I find myself recalling a question on the latest edition of the CSAT exam. The CSAT is the Creationist version of the SAT exam which homeschooled Young Earth Creationists take in order to qualify for admission to any unaccredited institution of hired [sic] learnin’ and what-not.
The vocabulary segment of the CSAT includes the following multiple-choice test question:
29) The Bodie Hodge is:
A) the fifth pillar of YECism whereby every Young Earth Creationist must resolve to visit the Creation Museum at least once in his/her lifetime. Obviously, every pilgrimage to the Creation Museum is wholly a holy journey (a Hodge), but only that first pilgrimage is the sacred and mandatory every Bodie Hodge.
B) the shortened, colloquially-corrupted phrase for that required-for-everyone journey (i.e., the “everybody Hajj”) which Sofia Vergara and most phonetic-spelling-prone creationists call the “EFF-va-ree BO-dee Hajj.”
C) the only hand which can top a Royal Fizzbin—but only on the first Tuesday following a New Moon during a month with no more than 30 days and only if the first player to the dealer’s immediate right is a third-generation Young Earth Creationist through the maternal line. Of course, the chances of actually getting a Bodie Hodge are . . . well . . . they’re of Biblical proportions. Some would even say that getting one would be a miracle and just about as likely. Others would simply say that getting one for a Sunday Morning service would be really really stupid.
D) Ken Ham’s son-in-law.
E) all of the above
If you answered “E”, you are correct. And what qualified Bodie Hodge for his duties as a Answers in Genesis speaker and “creation scientist” at the Creation Museum? He’s got a mechanical engineering degree! Don’t ask me why, but a lot of “creation scientists”, “Senior Fellows”, and “popular speakers” at origins ministries are engineers, lawyers, and physicians.
Of course, in Bodie’s case, marrying the boss man’s daughter was not such a bad career move and went a long way towards getting a lucrative management position at Answers in Genesis.
Interested in a sample of Bodie’s scholarly output? Here’s Bodie’s explanation of why one should answer honestly when the Nazi Gestapo officer asks if you are hiding Jews:
Bodie’s answer got a lot of reaction from readers at the Answers in Genesis website, many of them strongly disagreeing, to say the least. But as many of you know if you have ever dared express disagreement on an AIG Facebook page or website—or even if you simply posted a “inconvenient” question—deletion and total bans are easily achieved by anyone who fails to show ample approval of Ken Ham & Co. for their latest antics. But in this case, our undercover operatives tell us that many of the not-so-pleased readers pointed out to Bodie that various people of faith in the Bible told lies in order to save lives and that God greatly blessed them accordingly. So if you want to learn more about Hodge’s helpful hermeneutics, you’ll just have to check out the aforementioned link for yourself.
And while contemplating the full Bodie-ness of the Bodie Bodhisattva, don’t miss his explanation of why non-Christians shouldn’t get off work during weekends and Christmas vacation breaks. Why? Bodie Hodge says it’s just not logical! Here’s a sample:
A weekend is a Christian thing, God created in the six days, he rested on the seventh, the Lord resurrected on the first day, that’s a Christian thing.
Of course, the Saturday Sabbath is actually a “Jewish thing” and though the first day of the week, Sunday, could be called a “Christian thing” because it commemorates the Lord’s resurrection, it was not a no-work-day like the Jewish sabbath. But Hammites have never let what the Bible actually says get in the way of a good “spin” when it fits the propaganda objective at hand. To fully savour that traditional creationist brand of “logic”, here’s some text and video sure to enlighten the curious:
As Americans commemorate this holiday for the working man (and woman), it is good to know that Bodie Hodge is on the job delivering all that “creation science” crunchy goodness and selling silly pseudo-science for the masses. After all, it’s a job that somebody has to do. In this case, some Bodie keeps doing it like nobody else can. Well, that is…except maybe his father-in-law.
Yes, at Answers in Genesis, pseudo-science runs in the family—as does profiting off of the gullible. And what could be more American than that? Junk science is a growing export business and “creation science” origins ministries constitute one of the fastest growing sectors. So as you celebrate Labor Day with your friends and family, we hope you will consider the contributions of the unsung and uninformed pseudo-science purveyors of this growing industry. And if you think somebody should do something about it, just remember that some Bodie has.
(Reader Advisory: AIG’s website contains materials which the Surgeon General has determined to be hazardous to the public health. Readers may experience headaches, confusion, suicidal ideations, and loss of lunch.)
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